Let me start with this popular joke…
A father and his son were attending a wedding when the son suddenly asked a question.
Son: Dad, why is the bride wearing white?
Dad: Because this is the happiest day of her life and she wants people to know it
Son: So, why does the groom wear black?
A lot of us will laugh at this joke not realizing that there’s some truth behind it. A wedding is full of symbolism and that includes the color the bride and groom wear.
The color black has always been associated with death, that’s why we wear a black pin or black clothes when attending a funeral. So why does the groom wear black during a supposedly joyous event? Because he represents death, death of himself for his wife.
Some of us men love to quote the bible verse Ephesians 5:22-24 to tell women that they need to submit to us…
“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”
While wives do need to submit to their husbands, we forget that men have a much greater responsibility to the women.
Ephesians 5:25-31 “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
Men, we have the responsibility of loving the women FIRST. We should never expect them to love us first because women, though capable of initiating love, are much better in reciprocating love. We should love them as Christ loved the church, and guess what, Jesus died for the church. Death, or denying one’s self, is the highest form of love anyone can do, (John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends) and is expected of us men to give to our women. The continuous resistance to this truth is the reason why relationships nowadays are more superficial and short-sighted, and divorce rates are shooting up. You might think that this is gender stereotyping, but this is really how it’s supposed to be done. The mother of my girlfriend always tells me “No good woman abuses the true love of her man” and if only men would realize that they have to truly and fully love the women FIRST, then they will realize that women would be more loving to them and be more “manageable” (less mood swings, less fights, less demands, less drama).
So why does the groom wear black on his wedding day? Because he is really attending a funeral, a funeral of himself because his wedding day is the day he dies for his wife. 🙂